The other night I was sitting watching a show with my wife. She was talking about a program and mentioned it several times. I started to flinch. In a level tone (because now I know now that raising my voice would start a fight) I said “OK, I’ve got it.” She fired back, “Why do you have to say it like that.” I didn’t understand, after all I said it in low tone.
One day I’m in my office doing my thing waiting for a patient to call or come in. After about ten minutes I checked in. Are we on for today? Text comes back, “Oh sorry I got caught up, will call at 1:15.” Ok, I write back. Nothing. I send a question mark only. Nothing. That was it. There was also earlier in the day someone just didn’t show or call. Now, I’m not saying this happens a lot, it doesn’t, but right away I start thinking. Did I say something, what was the last session like? I can’t really think of anything. No bad words, no disclaimers, bad looks, comments, nothing that I can remember. What is this? I liked these people. We seemed to have a good working relationship. What is going on?
“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” — Friedrich Nietzsche Laurie and Frank were high school sweethearts. They married young because Laurie became pregnant and, being Catholic, any other choice was out of the question, so he decided to do the right thing. It
“You must change how you react to people before you can change how you interact with them,” says Rick Kirschner, N.D., coauthor of Dealing with People You Can’t Stand. “To subdue the enemy without fighting is the highest skill.”– Gichin Funakoshi, father of modern Karate Jacklyn was a legal secretary in a litigation firm. It
Relationships start out with such promise. Everything seems so perfect. The way they look, speak, smile and the newness of it all is so sweet. Then over time the power of the beginning attraction begins to fade like the sun setting on the blush of a rose. First there are those disappointments, he forgets your birthday, she
“Only connect,” wrote E. M. Forster in Howards End,“and human love will be seen at its height.” Love depends on a couple’s ability to forge and then maintain the precious bond between them. We want to look more closely at ways of creating connection, preserving it through challenging times, and healing breaks when they occur.
“We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.” -John Lennon Jan and Dave
Marriage is simply hard work. But the good news is that attitude is everything. The Toltec Empire lasted from 300 to 600 BC and included the Pacific Coastal Chiapas and Guatemala, the Yucatan Peninsula, and much of Northern and Western Mexico. They left clay tablets with a message they called “The Four Agreements.” They were:
Ben and Nancy were at home one evening when something happened that shook them up. This was not the first time either. The weekend had gone well, they cooked dinner together, danced, talked, made love and were in excellent spirits as Sunday evening rolled around. Nancy was (in her mind) kidding him in her usual
When I am working with couples, the men may talk a lot about wanting to be appreciated and having a partner who can help them; they seem to want loyalty and they want to engage in activities like hiking or biking, or they want women to be at their side on their journey through life