After being married for over 30 years, what seems apparent to me is that it’s not so much what we can see about what is going on between us but what we cannot. My wife asks me to do something and I snap at her. Why? I try to tell her something that is important to
We pan in on a newly married couple gazing lovingly at each other on the dance floor dressed in white and aglow with happiness and sweet expectation for a life together. They read their vows professing love sublime with misty-eyed friends and family looking on. It’s a happy time for all, maybe one of the
My wife of 26 years and I were making dinner the other night and between shifts of chopping and mixing I was waxing philosophical about what women want. So, naturally I sort of put the question to her in my typically male off-handed way, so what is it that woman want? The answer was not
Imagine the scene: a newly married couple floating down the aisle all decked out in wedding attire, gushing with love and happiness as they glide effortlessly toward what appears to be a brilliant future. Her dress is gorgeous, and he is quite dashing in his tux. They appear to be (on this day) the perfect
We fade in on a couple sitting quietly at Sunday morning breakfast. Suddenly, a seemingly innocuous comment swiftly shifts the peaceful mood into prodigious conflict. She: Could you be more careful when you take out the trash? Yesterday you left a total mess. He: (stung) Well, excuse me. I didn’t know I was getting the
Jack and Harriet were fighting for days when they first came to my office. They walked in separately and sat as far away from each other as they possibly could. What was wrong? Harriet blurted out, “He just won’t listen, all he cares about is being right.” To which Jack fired back, “If you weren’t
Is there such a thing as constructive criticism? Not really? Criticism seems more like a punch in the stomach than a helpful hint. Complaints are a different animal altogether. The major difference between a criticism and a complaint is that criticism is a personal attack and a complaint is about who we are. Criticism creates
A Beatles song captures the imagination of youthful love in the verse, “When she crossed that room, my heart went boom and I fell in love with her.” When we are hit with that thunderbolt, we become teenagers again as a tsunami of chemicals amass the feelings of love at first sight. At this point,
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” —Anaïs Nin The way a relationship begins is often a far cry from what it’s like
“The married are those who have taken the terrible risk of intimacy and, having taken it, know life without intimacy to be impossible.” – Carolyn Heilbrun For most of us, the word intimate conjures up romantic images of candlelit dinners, slow dancing, and long passionate kisses. Romantic gestures are certainly a dominant theme of intimacy,