I was married 33 years ago, and they threw shoes and rice. My wife was beautiful, and we were in love. We have made a relationship that has stood the test of time, and we were able to understand our dance and build a healthy, loving future. But we had yet to learn what life would
This idea of trying to fix ourselves with something on the outside like our face, body, and or what other people see, simply can’t be done. Violence toward the self can take many forms such as alcohol abuse, intravenous drugs, tattooing, plastic surgery, cutting, risky behavior, antagonism toward the self, and violence toward others. The act of rejecting your inner self in favor of physical attraction, trappings of wealth, or numbing ourselves is, in the end, an exercise in futility.
“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” — Friedrich Nietzsche Laurie and Frank were high school sweethearts. They married young because Laurie became pregnant and, being Catholic, any other choice was out of the question, so he decided to do the right thing. It
The anthem of the 1960’s was “Live hard and die young.”. The notion at the time was thirty meant the end. As in all things time has swooshed by and here I am staring at myself in the mirror, and I’m horrified. I got old. It was not supposed to happen, that was for other people, not me. I see young people and they look at me that I did then. There was a line from the Beatles movie and “A Hard Days Night.,” When they describe an older character and a “Clean old man.” They described him as if he were from an alien world. Diverse cultures treat old age differently. In Asia old people are revered. In others it’s simply a passage of time. But in America we are actually and metaphorically pitched into the waist bin of a youth obsessed culture.
“We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.” -John Lennon Jan and Dave
There are some general rules for relationship health that if you follow them your happiness level should improve tremendously. 1. Compassion, understanding, respect and empathy are essential. Avoid: Criticism or contempt. Also avoid: 2. Blaming or shaming. 3. Defensiveness. 4. Negativity. 5. Stonewalling or turning away. 6. Being the victim or the perp. 7. Fight
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” Jim Morrison We tune into a commercial and a group of “friends” are laughing and high fiving each other. Yes, it’s another football Sunday and a beer commercial is touting this jovial group, having fun together with some tasty Buds. It’s the classic
Marriage is simply hard work. But the good news is that attitude is everything. The Toltec Empire lasted from 300 to 600 BC and included the Pacific Coastal Chiapas and Guatemala, the Yucatan Peninsula, and much of Northern and Western Mexico. They left clay tablets with a message they called “The Four Agreements.” They were:
Ben and Nancy were at home one evening when something happened that shook them up. This was not the first time either. The weekend had gone well, they cooked dinner together, danced, talked, made love and were in excellent spirits as Sunday evening rolled around. Nancy was (in her mind) kidding him in her usual
When I am working with couples, the men may talk a lot about wanting to be appreciated and having a partner who can help them; they seem to want loyalty and they want to engage in activities like hiking or biking, or they want women to be at their side on their journey through life