“Only love, only long empathy and identification and compassion can root another person in their heart so deeply there’s no escaping your hatred of her, not ever; especially not when the thing you hate most about her is your capacity to be hurt by her.” –Jonathan Franzen from his book Purity “If fear is the
I don’t have to tell you that sex is everywhere: in films, on television and in any other venue advertisers can lay their hands on. The blaring message: sex is not only important but absolutely necessary and if you aren’t having it, there’s something wrong with you (which isn’t true, so don’t worry). But from
I opened my Facebook page the other day and a scrolled down to find a video from the Anderson Cooper show, Anderson, featuring the renowned couples therapist Dr. John Gottman, who wrote the best seller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. In the clip, various couples illustrate examples of some of his principles, like
How to recognize and treat porn addiction before it destroys your relationship. Janet and Ben came in for couple’s therapy because she had caught him watching internet porn. He was looking at “Cheerleaders Gone Wild”: videos featuring girls who are barely 18 years old. To her it was a betrayal and tantamount to watching child
My wife and I were having breakfast last Sunday at our favorite spot, after our morning walk with our pooch. We got to talking about what successful relationships were made of. I was delighted that she came up with some great ideas about what successful couples do. I must say, I could not have said
Can we have great sex with someone and not have a good relationship? The answer is sometimes we can, but mostly we can’t. Good sex does mean that the connection and intimacy we have with our mate does translate into more intimacy. However, it’s not the whole story. Sexual relationships often hinge on whether couples
“Through the fire all that remains is gold.” —Anonymous Adam was a student of relationships: he had them down pat, or so he thought. Then he met Zoe. She was an attorney and didn’t suffer fools. She shot from the hip and he loved it. It was like a cool drink of water finding someone
Jeri-Ann and Chas were having breakfast at their favorite restaurant on the beach one Sunday morning when an incident triggered a series of nuclear reactions. All those emotional neutrons and protons smacking up against each other set off a chain reaction that seemed to come out of nowhere. Jeri-Ann caught Chas in a white lie.
“Love isn’t finding a perfect person. It’s seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” –Sam Keen “So then, the relationship of self to other is the complete realization that loving yourself is impossible without loving everything defined as other than yourself.” –Alan Watts Jake and Katie were in a somber mood when they arrived for their first
With all the ups and downs in life, even the best relationships knock heads once in a while. Cyber talk is streaming a pop culture belief that long term relationships are just not viable. In this shifting climate, can we reliably build the skills to weather the natural storms of everyday life and still come out on