2025 has been quite a year and we are only halfway through it. We lost our home in the Palisades fires and then the whole world caught fire. Wars in Ukraine, Gaza, Iran, and Israel, mass shootings and our president is pressing his authority like never before. There seems to be nowhere to turn in
Let’s face it—conflict is part of every relationship. No matter how much love there is, sooner or later, disagreements show up at the door. What matters most isn’t whether we argue, but how we handle those moments when emotions run high and words can either build a bridge or burn it down. Over the years,
Disaster doesn’t knock before it enters your life—it arrives uninvited, turning everything familiar into something unrecognizable. One moment, you’re stepping out the door like you have for years, and the next, life as you know it is gone. That’s exactly what happened to me. It was a typical sunny morning in California. I headed to
“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other” — Audrey Hepburn When we talk about making relationships last, we’re really asking a deeper question—how do we help love endure? It’s not about just staying together under one roof or marking anniversaries on a calendar. It’s about keeping that emotional bond alive through
I was married 33 years ago, and they threw shoes and rice. My wife was beautiful, and we were in love. We have made a relationship that has stood the test of time, and we were able to understand our dance and build a healthy, loving future. But we had yet to learn what life would
The other day, a couple comes in, sits down, and they break into a deafening silence. They reminded me of an incident in Maui a lifetime ago, sitting in a little bar named the Maui Belle. It was the middle of the day, and I walked in and sat around a group of sailors. About
“Everywhere You Go There You Are” Jon Kabat-Zinn In my last blog about “My Own Worst Enemy,” I spoke about self-attack and the lack of compassion, understanding, respect, and empathy. I described a patient of mine who believed that he was behind where he should be in life and therefore, he will never be able
When I work with couples the central problem lies in the way they treat one another and their inability to communicate or listen to each other. The lack of respect, the harsh words, and the hurtful things they say and do to one another destroy the love and connection that initially brought them together. It starts with what our parents taught us or what they failed to teach us. If we grew up in a home that was neglectful, violent, hateful, racist, or exclusive, it’s more than likely we will become a person who reflects those qualities. And if there were no other viable alternatives to that wounding environment in our young lives, we would naturally develop a deeply negative inner life. We identify with what we experience. If our experience lacks heart, so will we.
This idea of trying to fix ourselves with something on the outside like our face, body, and or what other people see, simply can’t be done. Violence toward the self can take many forms such as alcohol abuse, intravenous drugs, tattooing, plastic surgery, cutting, risky behavior, antagonism toward the self, and violence toward others. The act of rejecting your inner self in favor of physical attraction, trappings of wealth, or numbing ourselves is, in the end, an exercise in futility.
Don’t worry be happy goes the phrase. Why not, we covet bliss. Mindfulness, cleansings, wellness groups, groping ceremonies, psychedelics, sports and on it goes. Big question, how are we going to accomplish well-being in a world in crisis, rising crime, difficult relationships, health issues and childcare. The day-to-day grind, loss of loved ones, illness, malaise, and pathos around and within us. So, how does one find happiness in all of this?